Call to declare?
Of acuity and despair.
Today is the day that I change it all. Often I am left feeling three feet tall. Hiding underneath a beanie and hood. When I am paranoid and the days don’t seem like they should. For me in this reality of wandering thoughts and my mind not believing in me.
Skip forward a few days and all is now good. My mood now stable. Can this be enough. I omitted above that the few days before had been rough,
Acuity in my shining mind, was full of rubbish files floating, not for all to find.
Going through evaluating these was a struggle, that almost saw me begging on my knees.
Feelings of distrust saw me turn things around. As I earthed and found new ground.
Confidence in my housemate stood. Amongst tough thoughts and the canopy of pulling over my hood.
Realisation started to shine as these bad thoughts were only mine. To mention them, I found rhythm again. Polite I spoke of the fight my mind had been on. The beacon of light my housemate shone.
Accentuating positive as I let him know. I turned and thanked him with my now positive glow.
In this instant I began low, and the polishing of my globe was what I needed, as thoughts at full pace started to slow.
They did not disappear, nor did the fear. Though I had a new way to challenge as my mind started to clear.
This I am telling you as your thoughts may leave you to feel down. Better though talk things out and smile rather than frown.
The rubbish cycle of my mind I could not see through. I challenge myself as depression grew.
A solid talk was in need. The distraction of which was a new seed.
From that a new plant sprouted. The thought of my acuity no I doubted.
I was not at my best, nor at my worst.
I was seemingly on my minds rubbish verse.
Now the sprout is strong and flourishes. As it has fed on part of what the rubbish is.
Part of a cycle, and a bit of decay. Breaking down on what the plants are feeding on.
That’s more than ok. And this sums up another “May Day”.
Present Mind
My heads not right.
I don’t like the minds current foresight.
Excuse me for a bit, as my mind fights with it.
Uncertain that the pot may boil over.
I’m hoping my mind has protective cover.
Switching the minds’ view may be easy for the few.
Sometimes however I am left without a clue.
What was I on about?
Why did I write it out?
Now deeper my mind becomes.
And the torrents on the pathway changing the serum.
Tendrils splinter out and the mind protects me from that loud shout.
Did someone take my picture here. I didn’t see a flash.
I thought I heard a shutter snap.
This is how my mind acts.
Clearing for a little. Not to hold waste.
My mind is a frantic one. Often for days.
My eyes squint and the light starts to splay. Why on earth do I think I’m on display?
Streaks of beams as the serum still streams.
My mind is averting from uncertain dreams.
Will my mind clear? Or does paranoia draw more fear.
Edgy now. I know that manifested.
No cause for punishment.
Time the mind is rested.
Hear as I tell you, there is just cause for me to feel blue.
Not seeming possible from me.
I am conscious.
Even when my mind is somewhat obnoxious.
A day with Phrenia
Alert. Almost crazily.
I am awake, these sleep clouds with me hazily.
Watery eyes. I’m without my disguise.
Is my condition part of my demise?
A question with no answer.
I find in my mind a jolly dancer.
Tearing up the floor. I need sleep. I need rest.
This mind is firing like I’m in the middle of a test.
To write for you, I try shift from feeling blue.
Though maybe I am just that man.
From behind blue eyes I must stand.
Then the wave hits. Pathways of the brain, start to lose grip.
Non-sensical sense I call to make sense of it all.
The schizophrenia like a scrambled code, of another form of verse from a proud ode.
Flowing not yet, I am not upset.
The mind testing of what I may forget.
To tell me once more, this is my mind flaw.
Flawless I may not remember. As the pathway burns bright like an ember.
Even now; I try to recall as I was saying.
The jolly one now playing.
Forgetful, yes. Though it is not regress.
At least I think this true. Which is why I’m telling you.
If and when I lose my place. Commonly hard for the mind to trace.
Like the cosmos, these things just are: out in space much like a star.
My compass malfunctions jumping to make no sense.
Then jumps near though further from the present sentence.
See how random things seems. As I try and explain the hypnotic code within my dream?
At times I cannot, and it boils out of the pot.
Spilling then clearing, thank you for when you’re hearing.
As you are listening to the difficulty in nature.
Of something I cannot nurture.
This describes some of what may happen.
In a mind losing logic, trying to decipher.
The other end of conversations that may not occur.
Messages they stay, though might blur.
Then I start to picture the letters being unclear.
Not there, but over here.
That was a skip. I did notice that.
On trying days, sleeping as I sat.
On others I wear a hat.
Also true, which is why I tell.
I do hear voices that often yell.
I start to scare. The mind becomes frantic.
Hence Schizophrenia, like a code.
Hypnotic. Cryptic and in a non sensical mode.